Loving Less, Loving More - November 10
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 78:1-39; PM Psalm 78:40-72; Joel 1:15-2:2(3-11); Rev. 19:1-10; Luke 14:25-35
Today’s Reflection
What does it mean to be a disciple? Jesus’ message about discipleship in today’s passage from Luke 14 seems very puzzling and disconcerting at first read. “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14: 26-27). Why would the Son of God, who calls us to a life of love and community with one another, say this?
The word “hate” is a strong word. In our cultural context, we teach our children that you’re not supposed to hate anyone. We understand hate to be the opposite of love. And Jesus tells us we are supposed to love one another, for love is from God. So why was Jesus telling us to hate?
However, what seems likely is that the intended meaning of this teaching has gotten lost in the translation. One commentary I read, as I was trying to make sense of this challenging message from Jesus, says this: “‘Hating’ is a Semitic expression for loving less” (ESV Study Bible). As the commentator further clarifies: “Those who would be Christ’s disciples must (1) love their family less than they love Christ; (2) bear the cross and follow Christ; and (3) relinquish everything. These are complementary ways of describing complete commitment.”
But even keeping this more nuanced translation of the passage in mind, we still may find it personally challenging to love our family less. We live in a cultural context that prizes the idea of nurturing a healthy family and a loving home life. Countless books and articles have been written advising us about how to go about this—not to mention the proliferation of podcasts and social media posts on the subject.
Thankfully, Jesus wasn’t telling people to give up on their responsibilities as children and parents, spouses and siblings. Rather, what he is saying is that in order to put Christ (and the full package of how he calls us to live) first, we may have to reprioritize a few things. But this reprioritizing doesn’t mean that we are supposed to actively hate our loved ones. Rather, it means we must love Christ first in order that we may love our loved ones more deeply—in order to love them with the self-emptying, selfless love that is the way of Christ.
How do we love the people God has entrusted to our care through loving Christ first, and then everyone else second? Dietrich Bonhoeffer, writing on “Discipleship and the Individual” in his classic book Discipleship, helps us to wrap our mind around what this means: “In becoming human, he [Christ] put himself between me and the given circumstances of the world. I cannot go back. He is in the middle. … He is the mediator, not only between God and human persons, but also between person and person, and between person and reality.”
To connect this back more directly with our Gospel passage from today, and Jesus’ tough teaching on hating one’s family (or at least loving them less), here’s how Bonhoeffer explains it: “Christ the mediator stands between son and father, between husband and wife, between individual and nation, whether they can recognize him or not. There is no way from us to others than the path through Christ, his word, and our following him. Immediacy is a delusion.”
At first glance, it sounds like Jesus was telling us all to cut ourselves off from the people with whom we feel most closeness and connection. As Bonhoeffer clarified, though, “Everyone enters discipleship alone, but no one remains alone in discipleship…. They find themselves again in a visible community of faith, which replaces a hundredfold what they lost. A hundredfold? Yes, in the mere fact that they now have everything solely through Jesus. … The promise for those who follow Christ is that they will become members of the community of the cross, they will be people of the mediator, people under the cross.”
As we follow in the way of Christ and enter into community with others through Christ’s grace-giving love, we discover that loving others through Christ opens up more meaningful ways of being connected and in relationship with one another.
—Becky+
Questions for Self-Reflection
What are your top priorities in life? To whom or what do you give the majority of your time? Your energy? Your talents? Your money? In what specific ways has knowing Christ and his love caused you to change your priorities?
Daily Challenge
Look back on how you spent your time for the past day (or even for the past week). Is what you spent the most time and resources on an accurate reflection of your priorities? If not, what are one or two small changes you could make in your routines and habits to help your life better reflect Christ and his way of love?