Conscious Incompetence - November 17
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 97, 99, [100]; PM Psalm 94, [95]; Hab. 3:1-10(11-15)16-18; James 3:1-12; Luke 17:1-10
Today’s Reflection
“But no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.” –James 3: 8-10
The Letter of James is believed by contemporary scholars to have been written by James the brother of Jesus—so not James son of Zebedee or James son of Alphaeus, but James the relative of Jesus (some think brother, others think cousin, but in any case, someone close to Jesus). This James, the one we know as James the Just, was considered to be the “bishop” of the early church in Jerusalem.
At the time that James was writing this letter (circa 55-100 CE) to be circulated amongst the house churches that together made up the early church in Jersualem, the people who gathered to worship in the Way of Jesus there were mainly Jewish. And so, it makes sense that the content of this letter is a compendium of exhortations that would fit in very well with the existing body of wisdom literature in the Jewish tradition—think of other such books in our canon, such as Proverbs and Sirach. William Brosend, professor of homiletics at Sewanee, notes that “the letter is filled with offhand references, parallels, and echoes of the sayings of Jesus, perhaps as many as 34. This suggests composition early in the tradition, before the sayings of Jesus were fixed and before the authors used formal citations.” So, the wisdom we find distilled in the James 3 passage we encounter today is likely wisdom on taming our tongues may sound a lot like what Jesus himself would have said to James and others in his circle of influence.
The focus of this passage is on how having command over our words is the key to keeping our whole selves away from sinfulness: “For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle. If we put bits into the mouths of horses … we guide their whole bodies. Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder” (James 3: 2-4).
If our ability to have control over what we say or do not say—having a filter, to use the current phraseology—is so important to our following the way of Christ (as evidenced by the amount of time spent on it in the Letter of James, and throughout our canon of scripture), how are we to go about this? Where do we begin in this quest for mastery over how we communicate in a godly way with the people we encounter each day?
This passage from James brought to mind for me a concept that students learn in classes like public speaking and interpersonal communication, which is the idea that there are four stages one must work through in learning any new skill. First, we go through the stage of unconscious incompetence, which is when we don’t even realize what it is we need to learn or improve. Depending on the person and skill, we may stay in this stage for longer than we would care to admit! Next, we enter the stage of conscious incompetence, which is to say that we are becoming aware of what it is we need to learn and that is important for us to put effort into acquiring it. At this stage, we may be making mistakes but learning from them as we are setting an intention toward growth and improvement.
Eventually, we move into the stage of conscious competence, which is when we have acquired cursory command of the desired skill, but we still have to make a conscious effort to do it. With speaking, for example, this would be when we realize that we need to pause and gather our thoughts before responding to something that in the past might have caused us to speak rashly or hurtfully. Finally, if we do not give up, we may eventually find that we have moved into unconscious competence. At this phase of development, which we come to only through practice over time, the desired skill—such as being more measured in what we say and how we say it—becomes something we don’t even have to think about anymore (at least most of the time). Having control over our words begins to feel natural, so much so that we may even be able to share that skill with others (even if just by example).
So, yes, we can tame the tongue! Most of us will have to make an effort in order to be more diplomatic and filtered in our speaking. But for now, let’s embrace our conscious incompetence with an eye toward one day being unconsciously competent!
—Becky+
Questions for Self-Reflection
In which relationships or interactions in your life do you find yourself regretting something you said (or did not say)? What is it about this relationship or context makes filtering what you say more of a challenge?
Daily Challenge
Think of one specific way in which you would like to gain more control over your words. Maybe you would like to say less and listen more in a certain relationship. Maybe you would like to not curse while driving in heavy traffic. Maybe you would like to not be so quick to make assumptions. Whatever you choose, try to be consciously aware of how you communicate in this way this week and reflect on ways you might change your habits or pattern.