Why do I feel wronged when we Disagree – June 19

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 88; PM Psalm 91, 92; Num. 13:1-3,21-30; Rom. 2:25-3:8; Matt. 18:21-35

I have thought a lot recently about asking people to fast from social media. While we are at it, a fast from the news might not be a bad idea either. But then I log on to Facebook every day to stream our services or prepare for Sunday worship and it dawned on me that if I asked people to fast from social media, we might not have anyone attend church!  Maybe not everything about social media is so bad. 

But I joke about this because it seems to me that much of what I end up reading online is aimed at stoking anger.  It is easy for me to get worked up at another position, or I find myself outraged at the behavior of other people as I try to agree with a position.  It becomes too easy for me (and I wonder if you feel the same way) to then believe that when a person holds what I find to be an offensive position, that I have been wronged by that person.  Of course, this is not true in almost all cases, but it seems like our common civic discourse is aimed at not only dividing us but entitling us to a feeling of being wronged by the other.    

In today’s Gospel, Jesus reminds Peter that you don’t forgive someone who has wronged you seven times, but seventy-seven.  I actually don’t think we are supposed to keep tabs and many people interpret this text to be infinite times.  It’s not about a number for Jesus.  I wonder if it would be helpful if we applied what Jesus suggests not only to when we are wronged, but when we feel wronged as well. What Jesus sets up is a posture of forgiveness that becomes a virtue that shapes our life. Maybe this way of being could turn our anger into empathy, our outrage into listening, and our feeling unsettled into seeking understanding.  At the very least it might move us back to being able to hold diverse and divergent positions in a healthy tension. 

--John+

Questions for Self-Reflection

  • Have any of your relationships with close friends who hold different views than you changed in the last few months?  What about the people you are not very close to?

Daily Challenge

  • During our Morning Prayer worship services, we have been confessing and receiving God’s absolution.  This week, try hearing the absolution being offered to the people who frustrate you the most. 

John Burruss