Nevertheless, You Heard Me - September 4

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 31; PM Psalm 35; Job 19:1-7,14-27; Acts 13:13-25; John 9:18-41

Today’s Reflection

In the Psalm appointed for this morning, Psalm 31, we hear the Psalmist alternating between naming the ways in which God has provided protection and strength with naming the ways in which the psalmist is continuing to experience troubles of many kinds. This psalm gives us a realistic view of what the life of faith is like. We find ourselves being pulled back and forth between moments of great sureness that God is there for us, loves us, protects us, and cares for us: “Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe, for you are my crag and my stronghold; for the sake of your Name, lead me and guide me” (31:3). And then we also feel, maybe even on the same day, moments of feeling utterly overwhelmed by life’s demands, besieged by people who would seek to bring us down, and alone amidst these challenges and pressures: “Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble; my eye is consumed with sorrow, and also my throat and my belly. For my life is wasted with grief, and my years with sighing; my strength fails me because of affliction, and my bones are consumed” (31:9-10).

This is what I find most comforting about the psalms, though, this realistic depiction of what the life of faith is like—and the fact that the psalmist has this honesty in his rapport with the God to whom these psalms are addressed. As described in Psalm 31, God is not put off by the psalmist’s lamenting and venting: “Yet I said in my alarm, ‘I have been cut off from the sight of your eyes.’ Nevertheless, you heard the sound of my entreaty when I cried out to you” (31:22). In a moment of stress, the psalmist accused God of not seeing him, of not wanting to see him. And then we hear a beautiful word that changes everything: Nevertheless. I didn’t think you were there for me, God. Nevertheless, you heard me. You were still there listening for me, even when I just accused you of abandoning me in my time of need.

I was reading an essay this week, “A (Low-Anthropology) Guide to Quarantine Prayer and ‘Loud’ Time,” by Sarah Woodard on the Mockingbird blog, in which she questions that paradigm of Christian piety, the “quiet time” with God. Rather, Woodard, like the psalmist, is encouraging us to take a more honest, realistic approach in our time of prayer:

Lamott eloquently stated that “prayer is taking a chance that against all odds and past history, we are loved and chosen, and do not have to get it together before we show up.” We can even show up angry — Lamott assures us that “God can handle honesty, and prayer begins an honest conversation.” Even if your prayer is “I don’t like You at all right now,” God can handle it, and it may be the most honest prayer you’ve prayed in a while.

We can show up disheveled, disorderly, and maybe even disinterested, and God will meet us there. God can meet us at the traffic line as we pray for patience for the old woman driving slower than the speed limit in front of us, or in the stillness of early morning light. He is there when we are wiping runny noses, walking dogs, and trying to keep our sanity while cooped up in quarantine. He will accept our own words or someone else’s, our “quiet time” and our “loud time.” 

As we continue in this time of pandemic, frustrated that life just isn’t getting back to normal when we had hoped that it would, frustrated that there are not enough hours in the day to supervise the remote learning, keep up with the laundry and dishes, and manage to keep working at the same level of perfection that we normally expect from ourselves (feel free to insert your own list of frustrations and disappointments here!), it’s important to remember that God already knows all about it. God knows we are frustrated at times and pulled in too many directions and wondering when this time of pandemic and political unrest will ever get better. Nevertheless, God still hears us, and wants to keep hearing from us. Even when we aren’t feeling extra hopeful and positive—and maybe especially then.

—Becky+

Questions for Self-Reflection

How honest do you feel you can be in prayer with God?

Do you ever feel like you must be more positive in prayer than you actually feel?

What would it be like to tell God you feel like God is not hearing you?

Daily Challenge

Take time, whether in writing or out loud or in silence, to be honest with God about something you have been holding back about in your prayer life.