Real and honest prayer - October 30
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 55; PM Psalm 138, 139:1-17(18-23)
Neh. 4:1-23; Rev. 7:(4-8)9-17; Matt. 13:31-35
Each year, the diocese plans a time at Camp McDowell called the Clergy and Spouse retreat. It is during the week, since clergy usually have weekend responsibilities; clergy spouses who have flexibility in their schedules sometimes come along. Meant as a time of respite and reconnection, the gathering builds community among the clergy and families across the diocese. I arrived at Camp McDowell near the end of dinner Thursday, as there were work things to tie up, family time and hugs, and then the drive on wet roads through rural counties to Nauvoo, Alabama. Gatherings of clergy families often feel a bit like “old home week” for me, having grown up in the Episcopal Church in Alabama. Even so, there were moments yesterday that I looked around and felt out of my comfort zone. For those who come from other dioceses to serve parishes in Alabama, it may feel exclusive or awkward at times – like a new kid in the noisy lunchroom, only seeing unfamiliar faces.
As I read Psalm 55 this morning and ponder the scriptures, I wonder about the prayers sprinting through the minds of those who find themselves in uncomfortable spaces. When in a circumstance that is stretching me, it is not parables and pondering that keep me rooted. It is prayer to God, asking again and again for divine companionship and solace, though the holy comfort can feel as though it slips through my fumbling fingers.
Take a few moments and wander through a portion of Psalm 55 with me:
The psalmist prays, “Hear my prayer, O God; do not hide yourself from my petition.” Clear, real, and concise.
Next is the honest appeal: “Listen to me and answer me; I have no peace because of my cares.” There is a purity and simplicity to this call for God’s help.
What follows are several ways that those cares and concerns are manifesting themselves in the person’s life as they turn to God for support: “I am shaken by the noise of the enemy and by the pressure of the wicked; for they have cast an evil spell upon me…my heart quakes within me…fear and trembling have come over me, and horror overwhelms me.” What a low and terrifying space.
The next three verses show a glimpse of the psalmist’s stress response: “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee to a far-off place and make my lodging in the wilderness.” Each who has prayed these verses can surely understand the wish to sprout wings and escape to a quiet, distant place.
From there, the psalm goes darker. If verses 7 through 9 highlight the “flight” response, then verses 10 and beyond contain “fight” responses: “Swallow them up, O Lord…let death come upon them suddenly; let them go down alive into the grave.”
Psalms hold this gift of encapsulating the myriad of fleeting thoughts and feelings that well up inside of us. Psalm 55 is proof that all that heaviness truly can be dumped upon God…the disappointment of being betrayed, the sinfulness we feel in ourselves and see in others. All of it. These ancient words of prayer remind us to cast our burdens upon the Lord, for God will sustain us (v. 24), even in really hard times.
Until the day that we mutate beautifully with wings that can carry us away from dangers with our feathered friends, join me in praying honestly and faithfully to God, who is strong enough to bear all of our concerns and generous enough to extend boundless grace to cushion us when we fall.
-- Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
When have you taken time to rest and play this week?
What has been the content of your prayers this week?
Daily Challenge
Write down three words to describe your prayer time. In the week ahead, make notes of the trends of your prayers. When do you pray during the day? Do you pray for yourself? Others? What are you saying to God? What are you asking of God? When in your days are you feeling connected to God?