“God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” – February 17

Today’s Readings:  AM Psalm 95* & 32, 143; PM Psalm 102, 130; Jonah 3:1-4:11; Heb. 12:1-14; Luke 18:9-14

In February 2002, I attended a weekend retreat for young adults at Camp McDowell called Vocare. In Latin, vocare means to call, and this was a time for people ages 18 to 30 to ponder how God could be beckoning us to serve in the work before us. Through a series of talks and small group discussions, we explored what it meant to grow in the awareness of being called by God. We listened through worship, too.

As I think back on that cold weekend 19 years ago, what I realize is that in the process of being called by God, there are speedbumps that may slow or divert each of us along the way. Sometimes those impediments leave dings or skew our alignment. Other obstructions may bring us to a grinding halt, or red in the face when others see our gaffe. The barriers to following God’s call in our lives can numerous, and I am guessing that your list is probably different than mine. Included on my speedbump list is the sin of pride…one of the “seven deadlies”.  

We hear in Luke 18 the parable of the Pharisee and tax collector who walk into the temple. Jesus’ punchline may have felt like a blow in the gut to some of his audience. The two characters start praying, distant from others. The Pharisee lifts his face to God and prays a prayer of exceptionalism and self-glorification. The tax collector bows his head low, strikes his chest in humility, and says, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” As Jesus constructs it, the parable exaggerates the proud Pharisee – perhaps for a more dramatic effect in his storytelling. However, the actions Jesus attributes to the devout man are prescribed by Jewish law, including fasting, prayer and giving a tithe to the temple. The problem, we learn, is with the Pharisee’s mindset – his pride; his own exaltation will be turned into humility. The more acceptable posture of prayer is that of contrition, with simple and direct language.

The tax collector’s words, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” ring in my ears and remind me of the service in the Episcopal Church called The Reconciliation of a Penitent. While we say the corporate confession and receive absolution many times in the church year, there is a framework for private confession, so that specific sins can be named in a confidential, prayerful setting. Though not a required practice, it can be a helpful experience to name those impediments to following God’s call. Why? By speaking wrongs (and how we have been wronged) to another person, we release these hurts to God and are liberated to receive forgiveness.

Even now, the words of this service (BCP 449) move me, as this was a meaningful experience for me during the Vocare retreat weekend. (The Ash Wednesday liturgy reminds me of this rite, too.) Together, the priest and penitent can say a portion of Psalm 51 and ask for God’s mercy. Then, the person who is confessing says, “Pray for me, a sinner.” After confessing a particular sin, the person concludes with a plea to God for reception and restoration of relationship. The priest responds in God's love through words of comfort, direction, and absolution.

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of a 40-ish day season in which we meditate on and practice returning our hearts, and whole lives, to God. Today, through the imposition of ashes on our foreheads, hearing scripture, and prayers of repentance, we examine our lives and choices. If a speedbump of pain or sin is an obstruction in your life, or causes destruction within you, please do not suffer alone. Consider whether a private confession could bring you solace or relief. Perhaps you simply need help praying about how you might be reconnected to God’s love during this lonely and angst-filled time. Your priests at Saint Stephen’s are here to offer words of prayer, counsel, and consolation. You are not alone.

As you go about this Ash Wednesday, abide in peace, and pray for me, a sinner.

-- Katherine+

Questions for Reflection

When has a time of confession been meaningful to you? What was hard? What was helpful?

What could you do to deepen your experience of saying the Confession during worship?

Daily Challenge 

The Vocare Prayer is a bold request of God:

Lord, Let me know clearly the work which you are calling me to do in life.
And grant me every grace I need to answer your call with courage and love and lasting dedication to your will. Amen.

Pray these words. Listen for what work you have done in the past, what work are doing today that is already a calling, and what God is calling you to do tomorrow. Write down one attribute that helps you answer God’s call.