Deeply troubled - March 31
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 55; PM Psalm 74; Jer. 17:5-10, 14-17; Phil. 4:1-13; John 12:27-36
‘Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—“Father, save me from this hour”? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name.’ Then a voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’ (John 12:27-28)
Years ago, a friend named Owen confided in me regarding his struggle with the darkness. He wrestled with the heaviness that was forever on his soul. He bore the weight of that ever-present reality as a shroud upon his existence. Now, don’t get me wrong…he was a funny and engaging person, with a biting wit and brilliant mind. As many of us do, portions of his public persona were manufactured to shield himself and avert the eyes of others from seeing the darkness stirring within him. When I looked in his eyes, there were moments I could see the sadness weighing on him.
This reading from John 12 brings memories of that time back to me. As Jesus says, “Now my soul is troubled,” I see images in my mind of my friend Owen pondering, pleading, and plodding through the sludge of despair, wracked with conflict while still having to put one foot in front of the other. I wonder what my friend’s prayers were like at that time? Did he ask of God, “Father, save me from this hour”? (I surely have prayed something along those lines in times of hardship and pain.)
Jesus, being the Messiah, resists that request and takes that heavy yoke upon his own shoulders. Jesus, being the son of God, turns away from his own soul-stirring angst and calls out, “Father, glorify your name.” Jesus does this in order to bring wonder and hope and salvation – unquenchable light to the world.
We cannot fix the struggles our friends and loved ones have with the darkness. We cannot change all of the things that bring us concern and trouble. What we can do is listen – without judgment – when someone we care about needs to talk. What we can do is pray for those who those who are downtrodden in spirit. What we can do is lift up the words of Jesus imparted in John’s gospel today, “The light is with you for a little longer. Walk while you have the light, so that the darkness may not overtake you. If you walk in the darkness, you do not know where you are going. While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of light.” (12:35-36)
With God’s help, let us drink deeply those words of hope and inspiration. Let us walk in the light, so that the darkness will not overtake us. Let us believe in the light – so that as we wander through the depths of Holy Week, we know that we are on the path, becoming children of light through the resurrection of Jesus.
-- Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
What troubles your soul? Where do you feel that discomfort stirring in your body?
How do you respond when you are deeply troubled? What lesson does Jesus have for you in John 12 today?
Daily Challenge
Get immersed with this scripture from John 12:27-26 through a method called Gospel Contemplation. Focus your heart and mind. Read the passage through twice, allowing the details to be magnified. Then, sit and close your eyes. Imagine what you see, taste, hear, feel, smell. Where are you in this episode of Jesus’ encounters? Let your imagination wander into this ancient encounter. Talk directly to Jesus, sharing yourself with him. What do you hear him saying to you?