Jesus and the melee - July 17
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 30, 32; PM Psalm 42, 43; 1 Samuel 22:1-23; Acts 13:26-43; Mark 3:19b-35
He writes, “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness.” He describes it as a kind of suspense—so many habits, so many outcomes, are stopped in mid-air. Made impossible now, because of what has changed—is changing. – Kate Bowler, writing about C.S. Lewis’ book A Grief Observed
My colleague Becky is the first who brought up Kate Bowler to me. I cannot recall exactly what she told me about the author, speaker, and Duke Divinity School professor, but it was enough to encourage me to learn more. During the pandemic Lent of 2021, Bowler put out a livestream video many mornings of Lenten reflections and life’s musings. Watching her speak in vulnerability and of struggle reminded me of the choppy waters of openness the inimitable Brene Brown explores in her works. And so, I now find myself on the “Kate Bowler train” of curiosity into spaces of hardship from which we yearn to flee, yet when times are hard, what we must do is bear it. In Psalm 30 today, the psalmist writes, “Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning.” (v. 6) While I really want to get to the joy of the morning, sometimes I must spend the night in tears. I have to feel it and get through it … whatever the hard “it” is.
My eye caught this graphic earlier in the week and it really hit home for me: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” C.S. Lewis wrote these words in his book A Grief Observed. I have never thought about grief in these terms, and yet I totally get it. There is the dread of experiencing the loss…and the fear of a similar loss happening again. We can find ourselves suspended, restrained, in limbo – all because of our grief and fear. Those are big, big feelings.
I wonder what big feelings Jesus’ friends and family were having in Mark 3, appointed for today. After he has called the twelve disciples to follow him, Jesus goes home and the throngs who have been following him are back. It is so crowded that they cannot even sit down together and eat. We read that Jesus’ family heard – either they got a report about the commotion, or they actually heard the sounds of the gathering. Their response is to restrain Jesus – to retain him and remove him out of the chaos of the crowd. But it gets more complicated than that, for we hear that people are saying Jesus is insane. Astounded. Out of his mind. Then the scribes get their hacks in, asserting that Jesus is possessed by Beelzebub, and through the power of evil, he is casting out the evil in others (as we read about in Mark 3:11).
So, this is more than just a melee…could it be that those closest to Jesus are having a type of intervention with him? What an experience of grief and fear, because of what has changed and what is still changing in their landscape. I wonder how afraid and uneasy Jesus’ followers and family feel in times like this. I wonder, too, how Jesus feels; does he grieve the hard heartedness of the scribes, who are blaspheming the Holy Spirit? Does he understand the intentions of his friends trying to intercede for him?
While C.S. Lewis wrote to illuminate a framework of the grief happening within himself and around him, Jesus does not do that for us. He is in the thick of ministry. He interprets in the moment what needs to be addressed. What we hear from Jesus is a dismissal of the false assertions of his possession by an unclean spirit. We hear a few parables about Satan’s weakness and Jesus’ strength.
Sometimes to get through a hard time, we must cling to the things that are reliable, when the rest of the world is shifting under our feet. Jesus is the strong one, who cannot be taken down. He is with us in our times of being surrounded by a melee, grieving and fearful, knowing that God’s joy and peace, which passes all understanding, will come in the morning.
-- Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
“No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.”
How does this statement strike you? What thoughts does it elicit from your experience? Who else might need to hear this bit of insight?
Daily Challenge
Take a few minutes to read as Kate Bowler explores grief and C.S. Lewis’ book A Grief Observed in this link. If you are looking to delve deeper into what grief means through Lewis’ eyes and reflect on your own experiences, I commend this Lewis book and the book study questions to you.