Big feelings - August 18
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 119:145-176; PM Psalm 128, 129, 130; 2 Samuel 18:19-33; Acts 23:23-35; Mark 12:13-27
There is a children’s book called The Boy with the Big, Big Feelings about a kid who feels lots of emotions – from joy to anger to sadness. The boy feels lonely sometimes, as other kids do not always know about his sensitivities. The other kids are playing and laughing, wrapped up in their own activities. The boy’s big feelings of fear well up in his chest, of joy shine on his cheeks, and of sadness pour out of his eyes in tears. He comes to realized that all kids (and people, for that matter) have big feelings…we feel them at different times and show them in various ways. It is a sweet, tender book for any kid, and it is one that we have enjoyed sharing in our house.
This book comes up for me today as I think of what is going on in our world at this moment. Natural disasters in Haiti. Unrest in Afghanistan. COVID positive cases rising due to the delta variant. Vitriol between divergent opinions around wearing masks in schools. And yet, I feel the great love and appreciation in my own family and social bubble in the wake of a birthday. To take in the whole spectrum of events and occurrences is a lot, leaving me feeling fractured and jumbled like a disassembled puzzle.
I look to the psalms appointed for this afternoon, which reflect a similar array of perspectives. Psalm 128 begins, “Happy are they all who fear the Lord, and who follow in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of your labor; happiness and prosperity shall be yours.” These first two verses are declarations of someone proclaiming wisdom from the posture of experience, seated far away from the intricacies and messiness of daily living. The psalm ends with words that sound like a good tiding offered to someone at a birthday party, “May you live to see your children’s children…” This psalm has words of hopefulness and assurance.
Psalm 129 is delivered in a space of anger and hardship, yet still offered from a distance. ‘“Greatly have they oppressed me since my youth,” let Israel now say’. Though hard times are upon God’s people, “The Lord, the Righteous One, has cut the cords of the wicked.” Those who are enemies will be shamed, and further, they will dry up and amount to nothing, “Let them be like grass upon the housetops, which withers before it can be plucked; which does not fill the hand of the reaper, nor the bosom of him who binds the sheaves”. By the end of this psalm, the tidings issued are far from those of the previous psalm; people will not even wish the enemy well in the Name of the Lord.
And then, Psalm 130. “Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord; Lord, hear my voice”. We come to a prayer that is far from aloof. It is intimate and visceral. The words are first person, singular: I wait for the Lord. We have a personal account of what it is like to wait for God in a time of despair, hoping for the Lord’s mercy to be demonstrated. While the supplicant (person praying) is pleading for God’s presence and assurance, there is hope. The hope is upon God’s word. God’s story of faithfulness with Israel. It is not a path of ease, and yet, it is a path of redemption, of reconnection, of restoration, and of the joy that comes in the morning. I love that verse, “My soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” I know that waiting. I know that anticipation. Knowing that it is dark right now. Knowing that it is scary and uncertain. Knowing that it feels that time has stopped and nothing will ever be right again in the world. And yet, those on night watch know that their shift has an end…with the dawn. The light will break over the horizon. The waiting is not forever. We may wage words. It is God who brings the light. It is God who brings the redemption.
Let us join in prayer. Let us call to the Lord when we are in the depths. And may God move us to act in the darkness, until the Son rises again.
Katherine+
Questions for Reflection
What words of pleasant wishes do you share with people for a birthday or other life event?
What are the words you have uttered (directly or indirectly) toward someone in anger or bitterness?
What are the words of encouragement you need to hear today?
Daily Challenge
Call someone who you have not spoken with in several months. Take time to hear from them the good and hard things going on. Invite them to share spaces of tension. Ask how you can pray for them.