'I forget to eat my bread' - August 12
Today’s Readings:
AM Psalm 102; PM Psalm 107:1-32; Judges 14:20-15:20; Acts 7:17-29; John 4:43-54
Today’s Reflection
Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come before you;
hide not your face from me in the day of my trouble.
Incline your ear to me;
when I call, make haste to answer me,
For my days drift away like smoke,
and my bones are hot as burning coals.
My heart is smitten like grass and withered,
so that I forget to eat my bread.
Because of the voice of my groaning
I am but skin and bones.
I have become like a vulture in the wilderness,
like an owl among the ruins.
I lie awake and groan;
I am like a sparrow, lonely on a house-top.
—Psalm 102: 1-7
Have you ever been so overcome with sadness or worry that it made it hard for you to do the basic things of life? Like get out of bed in the morning. Or brush your teeth. Or get dressed. Or even eat your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Let alone be amongst people or carry out other responsibilities. Oftentimes with depression, anxiety, and stress, the basic rhythms of life—doing the very things needed to sustain our lives—may get disrupted. Some people may not be able to eat, while others may eat more than they need—either way, it’s a disruption of the optimal circumstances for maintaining our physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
Like my grandmother before me, when I go through times of great stress, often my body’s natural response is to have no appetite. Last year, for instance, when going through a stressful time, I lost over 20 pounds for no good reason—well there was an underlying reason, but it certainly wasn’t my wish to lose my appetite. It wasn’t a purposeful or conscious thing, it was just how my mind and body often respond to stress. But conversely, when I regained my appetite and gained all the weight back, I took it as a sign that I was in a better place not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. My physical health, as evidenced by my appetite and ability to sleep well, mirrored my improved emotional wellbeing.
In Psalm 102 appointed for today, we read of the psalmist who is going through a similar set of circumstances, so overwhelmed “in the day of trouble” that it feels like “my days drift away like smoke” and “my heart is smitten and withered” to the point that “I forget to eat my bread… groaning” with hunger, becoming “but skin and bones.” Not only that, but the psalmist’s sleep is disrupted, “I lie awake and groan.” Emotionally, the psalmist is feeling isolated, “like an owl among the ruins” or “like a sparrow, lonely on a house-top.” It feels to the psalmist, amidst whatever very hard circumstances she is going through, that “my days pass away like a shadow and I wither like the grass.”
When we go through the hardest of times, it is challenging to see light in our darkness. It may seem that things will never get better. But as “smitten” and “withered” as the psalmist was, eventually she is reminded that she is not alone. God is there with her in whatever sorrow or stress or mess that she is going through: “But you, O Lord, endure for ever, and your Name from age to age. You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to have mercy upon her; indeed, the appointed time has come” (102: 12-13).
With God, we have the comfort of knowing that we are never alone, and that we are transformed through the never-ending love and compassion of our God:
In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands;
They shall perish, but you will endure;
they all shall wear out like a garment;
as clothing you will change them,
and they shall be changed;
But you are always the same,
and your years will never end.
Becky+
Questions for Reflection
When in your life have the normal rhythms of eating, sleeping, and other daily activities been disrupted by overwhelming sorrow or stress? What happened to restore your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing?
Daily Challenge
Are you going through this kind of sorrow or stress as you read this reflection today? If you are, please let a friend or family member or one of your clergy know as a first step toward regaining your health and wellbeing.
Or if you see someone who may be, take the time to check on how they are doing. Offer to just spend time with them as a way of offering your support and love.