Cultural Expectations - May 31
Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 38; PM Psalm 119:25-48; Deut. 4:25-31; 2 Cor. 1:23-2:17; Luke 15:1-2,11-32
This past month, I read two very different books side by side that oddly have provided a great insight into my own spiritual life. The first book was our May choice for my reading class and we read “The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello.” De Mello was a Jesuit priest from India and psychotherapist who led the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling in Poona, India. His meditations have been deeply insightful in how our culture conditions us to have certain programming and expectations, and how we can unlearn some of these human habits.
The second book, also probably 20 years old or so, is “Remembering Denny” by Calvin Trillin. Trillim is writing about his college friend from Yale, Denny Hansen, who was also a Rhodes Scholar and had about as much promise as any young person could have. The book is an exploration of the pressure of that promise and a trying to understand why Hansen didn’t live the life everyone expected for him. It’s a beautiful and rather sad memoir. De Mello’s work is similar as his spiritual reflections explore how we are culturally conditioned to have expectations and how that often leads us to become dependent upon meeting those expectations. I’m struck by both accounts and how they create an interesting dialogue between two extremes.
In our Gospel appointed for today, we have the story of the prodigal son which is actually a story about two sons – both who have different expectations for what it means to live. One stays home and works hard to please his father, and the other takes his inheritance and squanders it, a right he believed he had.
What strikes me this morning is that both sons miss the point of living. One has a work ethic and an idea that his loyalty and faithfulness will merit more love from his father. The other believes he can live as he wants and squanders away his life. I have often found that the real character to emulate in this narrative is the father whose life isn’t wrapped up in his work and identity but lives a life of giving selflessly to those he loves. He isn’t worried about end results or even fairness, but about the tender care and compassion he can offer.
How often do we too focus on the wrong things or get wrapped up on the wrong side of a story? How often are we too focused on our identity or vocation or what we have accumulated, when all that really matters is how we share this one precious and sacred life with others?
John+
Questions for Self-Reflection: What cultural conditioning have you received? What do you believe you are supposed to do with your life to meet the expectations of others? Or are these conditions helpful or harmful?