Pause and Breathe – July 19

Today’s Readings: AM Psalm 38; PM Psalm 119:25-48
1 Samuel 20:1-23; Acts 12:18-25; Mark 2:13-22

Confession: Sometimes when I sit with scripture, nothing really resonates. Maybe there are distractions in my mind that block my connection, or the content of the excerpt is overly familiar, or the psalmist is wallowing in big, hard feelings – and I just don’t want to go there today. Perhaps this has happened to you when reading the Bible.

Brother Jim Woodrum (from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist in Boston) visited Saint Stephen’s earlier this year. During one of his talks, he shared a technique of slowing down to sit with scripture, to hear and reflect on the words deeply. It is a practice that the brothers of SSJE observe when praying the psalms. At the end of each line, take a pause. Breathe in, as your brain processes what was just voiced. Move to the next line, working through the words. Let’s take psalm 38, appointed for today:

1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger; * (pause and breathe)
do not punish me in your wrath. (pause and breathe)

2 For your arrows have already pierced me, * (pause and breathe)
and your hand presses hard upon me. (pause and breathe)

3 There is no health in my flesh, because of your indignation; * (pause and breathe)
there is no soundness in my body, because of my sin. (pause and breathe)

4 For my iniquities overwhelm me; * (pause and breathe)
like a heavy burden they are too much for me to bear. (pause and breathe)

Continue moving through the psalm at an intentional pace. Remember that these words are an ancient prayer to God from faithful voices. Remember that these words speak to a real place in each of us. Remember that the Lord meets us in these heavy spaces with courage and compassion. The practice of taking a pause at the end of each line helps us stay engaged in the content, word by word. By taking a breath, we fill our lungs with oxygen; we have the inspiration from God to move to the next words. And sometimes, they are not easy ones to sit with:

5 My wounds stink and fester * (pause and breathe)
by reason of my foolishness. (pause and breathe)

6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; * (pause and breathe)
I go about in mourning all the day long. (pause and breathe)

7 My loins are filled with searing pain; * (pause and breathe)
there is no health in my body. (pause and breathe)

8 I am utterly numb and crushed; * (pause and breathe)
I wail, because of the groaning of my heart. (pause and breathe)

The sentiments of Psalm 38 are of one who is in deep anguish. And there are times we feel awful. The most we can hope for in those moments is a bit of relief, or a kind word from a friend, or a hand holding ours. I hope you will pray Psalm 38 – knowing that it is not always easy or comfortable to sit with Holy Scripture, just as it is not always easy to live this life God has given us. Let us pray for courage and grace to read the Bible, and to live into the darker spaces of our existence. As verse 9 of the psalm says, the Lord already knows the desires within us and our sighs are not hidden from God.

May God’s peace be upon you this day,

Katherine+

Questions for Self-Reflection:

Sitting with this reflection and Psalm 38, what is hard for you to face today? Where do you need God's courage or encouragement?

Daily Challenge: 

Read about the life and ministry of Macrina of Caesarea - and how she helped shaped the lives of her brothers, who became foundational voices in the forming of the Church.