Walking With Grace-May 17, 2024
Today’s Readings
AM Psalm 102; PM Psalm 107:1-32
Jer. 31:27-34; Eph. 5:1-20; Matt. 9:9-17
Today’s Reflection
Ten years ago, I spent a week in retreat with Ilia Delio, a Franciscan sister and scientist. I worked hard to understand much of what scholarly Ilia said, however, it was easy to be enlivened by her presence. Her way of being ignited joy and curiosity in me. There was one phrase Ilia offered that has stayed with me, “evolution is God drawing us toward deeper and deeper love.”
In today's Gospel, Jesus calls into question core ways of being in the service of drawing people to deeper and deeper love. Jesus says:
to Matthew the tax collector—leave your lucrative and unjust livelihood behind and follow me.
to the Pharisees, who studied Torah and prayed as sacrifice to God —I desire mercy not sacrifice.
to John the Baptist’s austere followers—Why fast now? The days of mourning are coming.
Transformation requires releasing that which does not serve. Jesus speaks of new wine needing new wine skins. In essence, Jesus is saying "If you want to follow me you are going to need to be a new wineskin." Transformed Matthew is the embodiment of a new wine skin.
This week, I have been gifted five days in (relative) silence at a friend’s mountain home with our Bernedoodle Grace. I was hopeful that Grace and I would hike a new spot each day in-between praying, reading, and writing. That hope went unfulfilled. Rain and fog embraced the mountain—nurturing wildflowers, rhododendron, mountain laurel, and azaleas. The first rainy morning I was disappointed. Grace still needed time outside. Thus, I put on my Patagonia jacket, covered it in a rain coat, squished my feet into my hiking boots, and walked with Grace in the rain.
At first, my usually protected-from-the-elements self resisted the chilly rain. Isn’t it amazing how our homes, and air conditioning, and heat, and cars make it easy for us to have minimal contact with the outside elements? When Grace hopped her 75-pound self straight up in the air and came splashing down in a puddle, I could not suppress a laugh. She started pulling me to play with her. Any dog trainer will tell you that is behavior you want to curb immediately. I am no dog trainer. Grace’s joy became my own. We were silly together, me pretending to chase her, her pulling on the leash, mud splashing her belly and my jeans. Alive. So ALIVE.
Since then, each day Grace and I have trod the same streets in the rain. Instead of swiftly climbing new and exciting mountain peaks each day, I am noticing the same brilliant red and cheery pink rhododendron buds opening just a bit more on each walk. I am enthralled with these tall, never-seen-before by me, majestic ferns gently unfurling their fronds. Each walk, just hours apart, unwrapping new gifts. One morning I literally spoke to a freshly-bloomed wild rose bush, "Look at you beautiful!" (Extrovert on silent retreat?)
The longer I am steeped in silence, the slower I move, the keener my sight, the deeper my breaths. I pray God is doing something new in me. I am aware as I prepare to return home, living out this renewed call from Christ will require letting go of some familiar and treasured ways of being. This time in nature, prayer, silence, away from technology (mostly), is core to my staying connected to the Source of All that is Good. Without this kind of renewal, I run the risk of spewing toxic busyness, rather than spilling over with compassion and joy and wisdom.
It is a luxury to be supported by this parish and my family to have sacred time away; and to have generous friends sharing their home. I am profoundly grateful. Not all of us can take even a few hours from the demands of work and family. I pray God’s renewal and restoration for you. If I can be a partner in wondering what new God is stirring in you, or how you can set aside sacred time, even in the busyness of life, please reach out. It would be my honor to walk with you.
Question for Self-Reflection:
What one thing might God be inviting you to release to make space for God to do something new in you?