"Yet Not What I Want but What you Want" - July 22, 2024

Today’s Reading: AM Psalm 41, 52; Joshua 7:1-13; Rom. 13:8-14; Matt. 26:36-46

How often have we prayed to God, desperately asking, begging, pleading and even bargaining with God for something that we desperately want? It might not be something selfish, it might be something for someone else, a good diagnosis, a safe delivery of a precious child, a reprieve from deep depression, a job, an acceptance letter from a sought-after school for a child. The list can go on and on. There are several prayers in the BCP from which the celebrant can choose at the conclusion of the Prayers of the People. There’s one that I almost always use:

“Heavenly Father, you have promised to hear what we ask in
the Name of your Son: Accept and fulfill our petitions, we
pray, not as we ask in our ignorance, nor as we deserve in our
sinfulness, but as you know and love us in your Son Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.” BCP p.394.

The gospel reading appointed for today brings us face to face with our Jesus, our knight in shining armor, our Lord, teacher, and Messiah. Reliving with our Lord, his moments of deepest fear and grief brings home for me just how truly human our Lord was. It breaks my heart a little every time I think about how lonely and afraid he must have been. On the last night in the garden, he asks three of his disciples to accompany him as he waits for the inevitable conclusion of this tragic love story. Jesus says to them, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.’ 39And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.’”  

As I’ve sat with a family recently watching and hoping for a sign that their beloved son will regain consciousness, I couldn’t help but feel inadequate. I was reminded over and over again how what I want for this young man, what his family wants, what any of us may want may not be what we can realistically expect. But isn’t it alright to pray for a miracle? To ask God, even in the face of what appears to be an inevitable conclusion, to let “this cup,” this heartbreaking situation pass away? My thoughts continued to drift back to the prayer, “not as we ask in our ignorance, nor as we deserve in our sinfulness, but as you know and love us.” “As you know and love us,” that’s the true salve of all broken hearts, all disappointments, and lost opportunities. The seemingly inevitable outcome may not be interrupted, however, in my sinfulness I am overcome by the knowledge of the all accepting, all forgiving, always present love of Christ. Life’s outcomes will not always please us, but thanks be to God we are not in this alone and no matter the depth of the hurt, our hearts and hands will be held by Jesus Christ.

 Faithfully,

Sally+

Challenge for Self-Reflection: The next time you pray, consider not asking for any particular outcome or result, instead approach God with an open mind, no particular agenda. Try it and "listen" for the presence of God.