Forgiven

Today’s Readings - AM Psalm 56, 57, [58]; Jer. 1:11-19; Rom. 1:1-15; John 4:27-42

This morning’s gospel is a familiar narrative. When we enter the scene, the Samaritan woman is at the well, she’s left her water jar and returned to the city, where she announces, that she may have met the Messiah. He knows everything about her, all of her sordid past mistakes and regrets, yet he does not dismiss her. Instead, he extends the gift of forgiveness and hope of salvation to her.

When I was first ordained priest, a woman in my parish asked if I would hear her confession. I explained how she could prepare and then we met a few days later. Her confession had been years in the making. She had suffered abuse as a child and as a result had made some regrettable decisions. She had lived well over half her life under the cloud of guilt that she felt as a result of her past. As we were finishing up, I noticed her expression of dread had been transformed to one of relief. She thanked me and confirmed what I had sensed. She stated that she felt a sense of elation and peace that she had not thought possible. It was nothing I had done but rather that she had shared her ugliest and most regrettable decisions to find that she was loved and accepted and forgiven. I was simply a conduit of God’s grace and forgiveness. I don’t think she ever thought it possible that she could share her past without feeling as though she was being judged.

I have experienced that kind of relief before and it’s not hard to imagine how the Samaritan woman must have felt. Acceptance and unconditional love are hard to forget. The verses in John do not describe her as running back to town filled with elation but there is a clue that she was distracted. She left the one thing that she needed – her water jar. That was her sole purpose in being at the well that day and now she had returned without it. But as Jesus explained, she left without the water she thought she needed and instead left with the knowledge of life-giving water that she would never be without.

This kind of forgiveness and acceptance is difficult to imagine, especially if society, family, or friends have reinforced your own sense of guilt. Knowing you are forgiven and accepting and embracing that forgiveness are two entirely different things. There was a time in my life when I intellectually understood I was forgiven but I couldn’t forgive myself. Finally, after beating myself up for years, my mentor told me I was being arrogant. I was shocked and embarrassed. Then he asked me had I thought about my attitude as a rejection of a gift from God? Did I consider my sin as greater than God’s ability to forgive? I’d never considered it that way and immediately reassessed my attitude. My own arrogance had been the one thing that had separated me from God. As I’ve often realized, I can be my own worst enemy.  The forgiveness Jesus offers flows freely. We only need turn around and open our hearts to receive it.

 Faithfully,

Sally+

Questions for Reflection: Have you ever had difficulty forgiving yourself? Why do you think that is? During Lent, make a list of all those people whose forgiveness you’d like to request and then pray over each one, asking God that you might be forgiven. If you can forgive others why shouldn’t you be forgiven as well?