Love and Grief: Can’t Have One Without the Other – February 27

Today’s Readings:  Psalm 138, 139:1-17 , Deut. 11:18-28; Heb. 5:1-10; John 4:1-26 

After picking up my son from preschool one day, we headed to the park to meet some friends. The sky reigned blue, as the heavy rain clouds from earlier moved along and left a breezy afternoon perfect for kids to hunt for sticks, play chase, and cross the monkey bars. The conversation among the moms slipped from the buoyancy of children’s delight to a more somber tone. The tragedy of cancer weighed upon several of those present. The women talked about their own grief and that it felt unfair – more years should still be ahead for their ailing loved ones, if not for the debilitation and spread of cancer. As kids dashed past, the moms wondered how their children would process the loss of grandparents. One shared how they approached the reality that a beloved elder was dying: the love between two people does not change, even when one person dies. That love remains. Just as God loves each of us, we get to keep loving those who are important in our lives, even when they are no longer with us.

Last night my family and I watched the latest episode of “WandaVision,” a quirky superhero mystery show on Disney+. The main character Wanda is devastated. She comes face to face with the structures she has erected to avoid living into the reality of grief. In a poetic and sage interaction on-screen where honesty and fragility meet, these words stay with me: “But what is grief, if not love persevering?” Said differently, we grieve because the love we have continues to pulse through our veins, our words, our whole existence.

In these two grief-centric vignettes, connection and understanding happened through empathy and shared experience. Community is beautiful like that. While grief feels isolating, we do not do it alone. Our grief is grounded in love…love that continues.

The message imparted in Hebrews 5 today reminds us that priests are called by God to service to “deal gently” with people in spaces of struggle, as everyone has weakness and pain. Jesus, too, cried aloud to God in prayer, weeping. And though he was divine royalty and the fulfillment of prophesy, Jesus suffered (Hebrews 5:8). Jesus walks alongside us in our grief and struggles. We have companions in this pain, and as such, we are invited to love more fully. We are invited to love and give thanks with our whole heart (Psalm 138).

If you are struggling with grief or other type of suffering, you are not alone. Call out, for God will answer. Saint Stephen’s clergy and pastoral care ministries are here for you; your church friends and family are here with you, too. If lament is pressing upon your heart, remember that God’s love perseveres.

-- Katherine+

Questions for Reflection

Have you ever felt that grief was strangling your capacity to love God or someone else? Have you known someone who has experienced protracted bereavement or complicated grief?

Daily Challenge

Take ten minutes to read about complicated grief. Explore what the Mayo Clinic has to say, or do your own research. Listen for ways you can be a support to someone in grief, or reach out for a partner to walk alongside you in your mourning. Pray this prayer for those who grieve:

Grief
May the light of Christ pierce the darkness of our grief.
May the love of Christ lift our spirits and gladden each day.
May the peace of Christ fill our hearts and comfort our sorrow.
May Christ our Savior walk by our side, today and tomorrow.
And May the blessing of our Eternal God and Father be with us,
now and until the ages of ages. Amen.
(Source: an adapted blessing from A Celtic Liturgy by Pat Robson)